Hitsuzen
by PT-chan ssu
Summary: In that world, Watanuki Kimihiro exists. In that world, he still has the unconscious desire to disappear. But in that world, there is no wish granting Shop… Yet, all things are inevitable. AU - Watanuki-centric.


**First contribution to xxxHolic deesu~ XDD I've LOVED this Anime/Manga since before Kei was aired and I finally have a fic to post!**

**Anyways, this is an Alternate Universe fic, and it'll just be a bunch of interconnected drabbles/oneshots generally centered around Watanuki Kimihiro.**

**I hope you like it ^^ Please R&R**

**DISCLAIMER: xxxHolic is a beautiful work by CLAMP. I own nothing! **

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_Ever since he could remember, he could already 'see' things. Things that shouldn't be there._

At first it didn't affect him much, because he was just a child, and children normally had hyperactive imaginations.

So when he is seemingly talking to himself, it is accepted as an imaginary friend. A normality for children. If he suddenly says that 'something' is there, people regard it as a desire for attention.

But in the end, it's different; because with him, it isn't just a matter of imagination or a desire to be noticed.

Because being too clumsy cannot explain all the injuries that suddenly appears from seemingly nowhere.

And imagination cannot explain why his arm was nearly broken by thin air.

But it is due to these unexplainable things that other children, other people, no longer desire to approach him.

His parents said that it's alright, that there really are 'things' that other people can't see, and that these things affect how they think.

They would comfort him, saying how sorry they are that he would have to shoulder this burden, that he has to be strong so that those 'things' wouldn't hurt him.

At first he felt that he would be alright. Because his parents were beside him, and they would keep him safe; even when he didn't have many friends, and was pretty much an outcast, and couldn't tell who is there and who 'isn't'.

But then… they disappeared.

And he was left all alone…

For as long as he could remember, he has always 'seen' things – 'things' that shouldn't be there.

He tries to ignore them, but it's a little hard when those 'things', to him, are so painstakingly real in all five senses. Especially when they start to haunt him, hurt him, and say how they want to 'eat' him while doing everything they can to accomplish just that.

He realizes he must look like a lunatic, but he can't help that 'things others can't see' are drawn to him like bees to honey.

At first it was alright. At first they didn't chase him unless he accidentally did something to attract their attention. At first they didn't follow him around trying to hurt him any chance they get…

But ever since his parents died in that horrible accident… protecting him… sparing him while he couldn't do _anything..._

It became much harder for him to go day-to-day without seeing. Without being chased by things that aren't there. Without being in danger of being eaten or cursed or killed...

There are times when he thinks that maybe he deserves it. That maybe they're there to complete what was supposed to have happened that day. _Since it was my fault to begin with…_

He stops, shakes and clears his head. His parents wouldn't want to him thinking such things…

He can live every day like this, like any normal –albeit eccentric, exaggerated, and so very _different_— boy would.

Still… it hurts that there's nobody out there that can understand the pain he is feeling. It hurts more that when he _does _find someone who knows even a bit of that pain, they –he- is one of those who _are no longer supposed to be there._

"Why does this have to happen to me?" he sometimes cries to himself at night, eyes tightly shut as he wills himself to sleep, wills the demons and 'things' away, letting all his barriers down as he hopes that everything is just a dream, that he'll wake up and his parents are alive and he's just a normal boy who doesn't see and attract strange 'things'.

He doesn't, though.

So he endures it.

And in the end he gets used to it.

_In this world, the barrier doesn't exist. In this world, the Shop that Grant's Wishes doesn't exist. In this world, Ichihara Yuuko never existed past the end of her actual life many, __**many**__ years ago._

Watanuki Kimihiro doesn't see the Shop that day. There is neither fate nor inevitability that connected him to a place or a person that no longer exist. Doesn't exist.

But he is there, and the 'things' –spirits, demons, ghosts, _youkai_- are there, and he looks like a complete and utter lunatic running and flailing and screaming in the middle of a not-so-empty street.

He would've cried –like Nobita— if he had to take one more second of the crushing weight of the disgusting creatures on his back (it would have been useless though, not like there's anything to stop them from coming back), but by some miracle or other, one that he isn't quite sure if he should be thankful for, the spirits disappear.

Replacing them is something much more annoying.

"Oi"

He freezes, not wanting to move from his face down position… in the middle of the road...

Of all people to see him like this, it just _had_ to be _this guy! Fate hates me!_ He cries in his mind.

"You look like an idiot"

"MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!" Watanuki screamed, jumping up to glare daggers at the newcomer. He felt the biggest urge to bash the guy's emotionless face in and there is absolutely _nothing _in his face or body language hiding that fact.

Doumeki Shizuka, however, is unfazed. "You're in the way" he droned, walking around the bespectacled boy as one probably would a dog's leftovers, his face as blank as always.

Watanuki gaped.

"GRAAAAAAGHH!"

And thus, '_hitsuzen_' took its course.

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**Completely Unrelated P.S: I'm hooked to Pet Shop of Horrors right now, and all throughout I can't help comparing and contrasting it and xxxHolic. Count D and Yuuko are just too similar! Their Shops are somewhat similar! They should have tea together sometime. I can just imagine the two of them being long time friends! (And now we have Chinese ambiguous beauties galore with Count D and Watanuki!)**


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